I would like to talk today about the concept of difficult conversations. Especially when everything is on the line. Or momentum has to be carried further. Or it becomes delicate. Certainly, if we want to play at a high level, those levels of conversations are going to be something we are going to have to deal with day in and day out. Often times there is no preparation possible. We just have to step in to it. It’s a skill we have to learn because those conversations cannot be avoided.
When we talk about how we show up, there is certainly a champions side to this and then also human nature side to it. Our human nature side wants, especially in critical situations, to over explain ourselves to try to be as clear as possible. When we try a little too hard to be too perfect and we are playing on someone else’s playing field we are trying to speak in their vocabulary. We are trying to make them understand. We get away from our authenticity and the language that we would normally use in normal conversation. We are really trying to view this through the eyes of the other person. When we do that often times our timing is off. We choose words that aren’t really our best words. Our flow isn’t there. We are a bit distracted. We start to grope for words and clarity. We can be drawn into more conversation because we weren’t clear enough for them. That may sometimes be our own timing or own uncertainty that is conveyed to them. I found that generally leads to conversations that aren’t complete at the end. There’s always something that was left unaddressed that could have been successfully resolved. A person walks away from the conversation a little off balance. Maybe even a little pit in the stomach “how was I so prepared but wasn’t able to deliver on the conversation that was so simple. What is that?” That’s generally because when we think about others too much and choose our words too carefully then we don’t speak from our intuition and we don’t speak from our truth and conviction that we know to be true about ourselves.
Certainly, the best place to come from is where we introspect and hear our words as they come out of our mouth and from our heart for authentication. If that is delivered correctly as we intend it to be it represents truly us. Then it is a clean conversation. If it needs clarification then, of course, things can be modified. But when we get thrown off course by trying to play too much on someone else’s playing field sometimes it feels like we are on a witness stand having to defend ourselves and we really don’t need to go there. It’s really presenting the facts as we know them with the solution that works best for us. When that is conveyed then generally solutions can be arrived at. Maybe not always ideal but maybe enough for everybody and certainly our criteria is to make sure that at the end of the conversation we have upheld our end of the deal by being as clear as possible. By speaking through our highest level of certainty about the accuracy of what we are saying and as we see the facts as they are. When we do that we don’t have internal conflict. We don’t start to second guess ourselves. We don’t feel like we have to go back and make another phone call or be apologetic about it because we have stated as clearly as we could state it at that time. If anything arises that needs to be addressed then it can be successfully addressed so that the conversation is complete and final. As it should be. Especially in delicate situations.
So, if we always come from our truth we always come from our authenticity as we see it. Through introspecting by connecting with our intuition and our natural flow of words we will usually leave our conversation being clear of spirit and certain we have stepped into this with the highest level of integrity and respect for the conversation and the outcome itself.
Keep doing what the champions do. Just keep showing up.